Tag Archives: motherhood

On Working after Motherhood

My Little One!When I was a kid I used to tell my Mom that when I have my own kids, I’ll quit working, unlike you. The feeling was strong and always came out with some sense of negativity. I used to add that every mother should stay at home in order to look after their kids for the few initial years. My mother hardly answered me back citing her reasons of continuing her job though it was obvious that she was facing extreme hardships taking care of her three children along with her full-time job. However, I also noticed that, even after my sly statements, she never ever considered leaving her job and staying at home. I even rebuked all those mothers who left their children at their homes and rejoined their jobs after a couple of months of maternity leaves. Those opinions were the fruits of the insecurities and hardships which I faced when I was left alone at home with my mother working outside. However, as I started growing up, I enjoyed the fact that I have a working mother and enjoyed flaunting it to my friends!

Now when I have a kid of my own and I stay home the entire day tending to all his needs with full attention and utmost care, I understand the need of having a job which can be termed as full-time. I, now fully understand what my mother’s silence meant when I made those remarks. Its not only about the money, it’s also about my own self. Financial security is essential, as is the mental stability after being a mother. For me being a first time mother was one of the most heavenly feelings one can experience which can never be expressed or described in words. I love to play and pamper my little one and fulfil all that he requires at this stage with as much love, care, sincerity and affection possible. However, in the quest of achieving that I started to feel myself as the Nanny of my child, more than a mother.

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To Be or Not To Be A Mother !

To become a mother is one dream that almost all women nourish and cherish. From the day of conceiving to the day of delivery, it is one experience which gives a woman a sense of fulfillment. There are some minor occurrences and setbacks which are to the contrary of this eternal truth. There have been incidents of abortions or leaving a child at the doorstep of an Ashram just after birth. To me, these are bound to happen in a world where people are segregated on the basis of gender, caste and religion. Sometimes some unavoidable circumstances also lead to termination of pregnancy, but all these are few and far between.

Now I’ll tell you the story of one of my friends. She married her boyfriend after courtship of nearly 8 years.  There were hiccups regarding the marriage, but their love for each other and their will power had the last laugh. It’s been two years now and they have understood the real meaning of ‘married life’. They never faced problems with each other, but things were made difficult by the people surrounding them.  My friend, though somewhat unhappy with her life, found some happiness from the fact that she is going to be a mother. Here, again, she faced the opposition of none other than her in-laws. They are against her pregnancy, for no apparent reasons and even asked her to undergo MTP. This friend of mine, already facing health issues, spent couple of days crying and sobbing, not knowing what to do. Finally, everything was solved when her husband and brother-in-law intervened.

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