When I was a kid I used to tell my Mom that when I have my own kids, I’ll quit working, unlike you. The feeling was strong and always came out with some sense of negativity. I used to add that every mother should stay at home in order to look after their kids for the few initial years. My mother hardly answered me back citing her reasons of continuing her job though it was obvious that she was facing extreme hardships taking care of her three children along with her full-time job. However, I also noticed that, even after my sly statements, she never ever considered leaving her job and staying at home. I even rebuked all those mothers who left their children at their homes and rejoined their jobs after a couple of months of maternity leaves. Those opinions were the fruits of the insecurities and hardships which I faced when I was left alone at home with my mother working outside. However, as I started growing up, I enjoyed the fact that I have a working mother and enjoyed flaunting it to my friends!
Now when I have a kid of my own and I stay home the entire day tending to all his needs with full attention and utmost care, I understand the need of having a job which can be termed as full-time. I, now fully understand what my mother’s silence meant when I made those remarks. Its not only about the money, it’s also about my own self. Financial security is essential, as is the mental stability after being a mother. For me being a first time mother was one of the most heavenly feelings one can experience which can never be expressed or described in words. I love to play and pamper my little one and fulfil all that he requires at this stage with as much love, care, sincerity and affection possible. However, in the quest of achieving that I started to feel myself as the Nanny of my child, more than a mother.
My, being a mother has increased the urge of having a life beyond the confinement of my house. I do feel the need to talk to adults other than my family members. I also strongly feel the need to share my ideas, views and opinions so as to unburden myself of a plethora of problems which I face daily as a new mother. I want to see each day with as much freshness as possible so as to shoulder my responsibilities with renewed vigour and enthusiasm. I want to free myself from the feeling of being a frog in the well. When I came to know about my impending motherhood, I made up my mind that I will teach my child how to enjoy life and free himself from the so-called norms, customs and rituals which the society tends to bestow upon everyone. For me it will always remain a challenge to infuse on to my child the courage to question before following anything blindly. In order to achieve these, I need to fulfil my own desires in order to maintain my mental sanity. Keeping my sanity intact will ensure that I love and give my kid all that is necessary for his proper growth and education as also encouraging him into becoming a brave citizen of the world.